25 Mac 2025
I don't know if I am just being too sensitive and dramatic or actually he doesn't supposed to be that way. Ok, look. I was just asking him to help me dry my hair tapi dia tengah mengantuk, dia nak sambung tidur. Knowing him, once he's asleep, it took him forever to just awake on his own. So i insist him drying my hair i don't care. Dia buat tapi main main, so aku sakit hati. Dah tak payah buat! Go sleep, do your own life and don't mind me.
If it's not about him, I wouldn't be late doing sahur, taking bath and wash my hair mandi wajib. My normal morning routine I mandi tak basah kepala sebab lambat kering, nanti kepam, gatal dan busuk. Mandi wajib pun sebab dia jugak, I tak nak mengungkit tapi i sakit hati, I was just asking a courtesy daripada dia to help me je :'(
I start mengungkit dalam hati, kalau time i tidur, dia kejut untuk layan dia, I bangun. Selagi tak bangun, selagi tu dia kejut. I ok dan i buat. I mengantuk dan barely being able to open my eyes, I layan juga. Tapi tadi i minta keringkan rambut je :'(
Habis siap siap, i keluar rumah, malas nak kejut dia, aku sakit hati. If i can do things my own, then you too.
Dramatik kan?
You know what, when things started to hurt me because of him, it'll hurt me more. Lagi sakit when I remind myself he did a lot more good things for me, but I can't help rasa sakit hati sebab benda yang dia buat.
I love him. I thank him for semua benda baik yang dia buat untuk I, I appreciate. Tapi... I was just wondering, do I need to hadap benda macam ini sampai bila-bila kalau nanti I dah kahwin dengan dia?
A courtesy, I am just asking him that.
Tapi mungkin... Aku yang terlalu mengada-ngada?
Then at 7.53 am, he sent me a message
"Awak tak kejut pun"
Then?
If i can do things my own, then you too. I told myself.
Tapi i rasa serba salah, jahat kan? Nanti dah kahwin esok esok, buat begitu